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Zulkey.com and Its Bottomless Pits

I can eat 40 spoonfulls of Nutella. My boyfriend can eat 40 pieces of bacon. Many of you can eat 40 of other things. I think this calls for a party, don't you?

Rob Theakston: On a dare I once ate 40 cheese sticks from Denny’s.

Melissa Bell: Okay, this has yet to be proven, but I'm betting I could also eat forty pieces of bacon. As long as it were crisp-fried and well-drained. Yes, I think forty bacon pieces would be no problem.

I'm really pretty sure I could also eat forty raw oysters. Easily forty jumbo shrimp (with cocktail sauce - not breaded). Forty escargots would be a walk in the park. Forty chicken McNuggets probably (with honey mustard dip). Forty mini-potatoes roasted with olive oil and rosemary. I'll even go out on a limb and say I could eat forty Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

What else? Hey, forty sticks of licorice (red or black). Oh and forty cookies - any variety (although I'd prefer President's Choice Decadent chocolate chip). Forty Breton crackers spread with cambozola. Forty large onion rings (make that eighty). Forty bags of airplane peanuts. Forty Hallowe'en-size bags of salt and vinegar chips, or Crunchits, or even those Bugles.

Forty perogies might kill me, but damn! what a way a way to go. I'd want sour cream with those, though. And lots of it.

And yes, 3 boxes of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (we call it Kraft Dinner, or "KD", up here in Canada) - especially on a canoe trip - would be a cheesy-powder-coated breeze for this camper.

You and Bacon Boy have nothing on me, sister.

Jenny Miller: Tater tots.

Anonymous: I could eat 40 glazed krispy kremes if they're HOT NOW. Need milk though.

(I'd have to fast for a coupla days, too. It's an unfortunate symptom of having grown up in the South, "A great place to leave" as I always tell my new-found New York friends... imagine my delicious surprise/dread when Igot to sophisticated NYC and found that kk's were all the rage.

Little-known fact; when they're HOT NOW (the red flashing sign they used to have outside), you can put a whole one in your mouth.

I checked the "nutritional information" on the krispykreme.com website, and the original glazed doughnut weighs in at 200 calories. If I took the Krispy Kreme challenge, according to my efit activity calorie calculator, I'd have to run for about 20 hours to burn it all off.)

No names please, I am embarrassed,

Matt Glarner: I once called the "I could eat..." bluff of my college roommate, who we'll just call Andy Goldblatt because that's his name.

Andy said he could eat 30 bananas. I offered to provide the bananas. It went like that.

Not many people know that after 11 bananas you start to vomit blood.

It was harrowing. Eating contests can change lives.

That said, I could TOTALLY eat 40 seedless clementines. Or 40 Nilla Wafers dipped in banana pudding.

Kim Bosch: I am with YOU on the Nutella! I f*****g [edited by the editor, who does admire extreme profanity over sweets, however] love that shit.

I could eat 40 boxes of Hot Tamales too.

Christina Talcott: I can eat 40 of any bread-cheese combination. I'm sure I've eaten 40 chunks of bread dipped in fondue cheese, most impressively at Le Refuge de Fondue in Paris, where wine comes in baby bottles and the fondu pots are bottomless. I could also eat 40 crackers topped with cheese, wheat-thin-sized with correspondingly-sized slices of cheese. If some of them had cream cheese or a soft goat cheese, there would be sizeable shmears. I could eat 40 of these in one sitting, no problem.

I could also eat 40 strawberry-flavored Twizzlers, but that's kind of gross.

Leonard Pierce: I must admit that your question vexed me. The realization that I, a fat man in good standing, probably cannot eat forty of ANYTHING (although drinking a forty is a different story) without suffering death or violent eruptations from either end of the body was upsetting to me. However, I have soldiered on, as any decent fat man or Zulkey.com
reader would. Here are five things I could probably
eat forty of at a sitting:

1. Pieces of Almond Roca.

2. Slices of pepperoni. (Aside to people who think pepperoni is gross: you suck.)

3. Grapes, tomatoes, or grape tomatoes.

4. Ounces of mixed green salad.

5. Jelly beans. Unless they are those Harry Potter ones that taste like vomit.

I would like to add that although I am certain I could not do so, I would like to at least TRY to eat forty White Castle cheeseburgers, preferably while high. However, the process (and immediate consequences) of eating 40 sliders would require the construction of a huge smell-proof chamber that is beyond my financial means for the time being.

Ced Stines: I bet I could eat 40 matzo balls

Kathleen McCafferty: For sure I could eat forty slices of cheese. No problem. I could also eat forty chocolate poky sticks and then eat forty more. I could eat forty communion wafers. Easy. I could also eat forty fruit Roll-ups although
it might agitate my gums. Just a hunch. Dig!

Gina Grinstead: I'm not sure if this is completely on topic, but your story reminded me of something I'll never forget. When I was in about fifth grade I went to a birthday party where they had a "guess how many are in the jar" contest. The prize was the candy in the jar, of course, which for some ungodly reason was banana flavored Tootsie Rolls. Or, should I say, Tootsie Frootie Rolls. Turns out there were 40 of them, and I was the lucky winner of a bag of 40 fake banana blobs I would never eat. My fifteen pound terrier, however, was apparently delighted. She found the bag in my bedroom that night and proceeded to consume the entire thing, wrappers and all. Needless to say, I spent the next day cleaning up pieces of the prize all over the house.