February
23, 2004
Today is the day to wake up really, really crabby.
Hey, want to read more about me and my book?
Hey, want to see me do a reading?
There was a major television event broadcast last night, and I think we all know what it was: the return of everybody's favorite drugged up buxom blonde to the airwaves of E!. Seriously, she did look fantastic and I thought about all the ways Anna, Anna, Fabulous Anna's new look is affecting her entirt life.
Ways Anna Nicole Smith's Life Has Improved Since Losing 69 Pounds with Trimspa.
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She's smarter. Ok, so it sort of looks like she acts the same as she did when she was heavier, but doesn't it seem that Anna's goofy tics are now more of an attractive, thin person's off the wall 'persona' than some disgusting fat slob's retarded behavior?
- People like her more. You may have noticed that in the first season of the show, stupid fat Anna only had three friends: her assistant, her son and her lawyer. This is because nobody likes fat people and the only people who hang around fat people are those who get paid to do so. But now Anna is thin and she has tons of paparazzi around her and people trying to interview her and it's obvious that she's just more likeable.
- She's more talented. Fat Anna was good for one thing: looking bad. Now she can try on clothes, she can pose for pictures, be interviewed, walk down the runway. It's amazing!
- She's richer. You will see that Anna Nicole has some beautifiul new clothes and some luxurious new transportation. I'm not sure how she did it but it stands to reasont that thin people are, and should be more well to do than fat people. If fat people spent less money on food, they'd be rich too, right?
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She's a better person. Fat Anna bad. Thin Anna good. Fat Anna: hell. Thin Anna: heaven. See?