January
15, 2004
Today is the day to be on the verge of tears all day long.
Come and raise a glass tonight!
Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed Children List
Katie O'Mullen, 5. What a total disaster! At three-foot-one, there's no way she can pull off the long skirts her hapless mother dresses her in. Maybe they'd work on on Nicole Kidman, but not here, sweetie. We don't want to see it.
Trina Richardson, 2, for her "My grandma loves me very much" t-shirt. Obviously, your grandma doesn't, or else she wouldn't make you looks like crap.
Andrew Michels, 6. You have to admire that he's made a valiant effort all year to make a fashion statement out of being completely irresponsible, but mitten clips aren't coming back. Ever. Either wear 'em, stick 'em in your pockets or just go cold: stop subjecting us to those.
Paul Zimmer, 2 weeks old. Could that diaper make your ass look any bigger?
Maria Dyer, 1. Learn to walk, already. The Native American baby sling is sooo nineteenth century American plains.
Tommy Weber, 3. Even though this Detroit native is technically homeless,
it's no excuse for his shoddy, dirty clothing, lack of one shoe, and total
absence of parents.