November
5, 2003
Today is the day to wear your blanket as a clothing item.
Rank: Ways of Stalking
- Through Friendster. This might be the best new way of stalking, because technically, anything you do on Friendster is stalking. You're seeing what people are up to, who their friends are, when the last time they've been online, all without them knowing. Downside: The sneaking suspicion that nobody is stalking you through Friendster.
- Craigslist Missed Connections. Oh , you think it's romantic but really what it is is spineless and creepy (although as a side note this is a generalization. If you feel like writing a Missed Connection about me, that's fine.) . What are the odds that your ladylove or big crush spends his or her off time trolling the internet to see signs of themselves? And even if they were there to read themselves, do you really think that they'd remember a "Shy boy in a black jacket"? Downside: Other people reading Craigslist are likely to make fun of you. On Craiglist.
- Phone. Ah, the good old fashioned way. You call and hang up, just to make sure that that's them. And then that they're there. And then that they're still there. And maybe this time you'll say something. And then to ask why bugs are crawling under your skin. It's just good clean fun. Downside: Phone receiver acne, which can be really embarrassing when the person you're stalking finally decides they want to meet you and fall in love with you.
- In person. The really good old fashioned way. You're out and about, you get a good idea of what your stalkee is actually up to, you can meet new people. Downside: This is probably the situation where you're most likely to get taken to court, and everybody hates legal fees.
- In your head. This might be the safest bet. Downside: You better hope you get a nice room in the sanitarium when they take you away.