October 27, 2003

Today is the day to carve a boring pumpkin.

PREORDER MY BOOK! )I won't tell you that I only need to sell 20 more copies before the book has paid for its own printing costs)

Only a few more days before my guest editorship at Opium ends. Who's up today?

You know there's nothing funnier than Daffynitions, right? So I thought I'd try my hand at some. Let me know if these are as hilatrious as I think they are.

Daffynitions!!!!

Republican: a walk taken for one's health.

Weapons of Mass Destruction: sleep.

California: an alloy of mercury with other metals; also, a mixture.

Leak: a ghostly double.

Forest Fire: feebleness of mind due to old age.

Marlin: a strict disciplinarian.

Economy: a reddish glow seen near sunset or sunrise on the summits of mountains.

Poll: one who stays in bed until a late hour.

Virus: a man who is vain about his dress and appearance.

I will stop now before you wet yourself over these hysterical 'wacky' definitions!