September 4, 2003

Today is the day to quit meteorology school.

See Zulkey.com interviewee Arthur Bradford in person.

So, for some reason, all the news the last few days has been that McDonald's will be changing its slogan from "We Love to See You Smile" to "I'm Lovin' It." "I'm Lovin' It" will, of course, be turned into a jingle to be sung by Justin Timberlake, and McDonald's will heartily encourage its patrons to download the jingle off the internet.

As some of you may know, I used to be a bit of a 'copywriter' back in the day, before I got laid off from the worst-paying advertising job on earth. Maybe I got laid off because my company had no money, or maybe I got laid off because I was no good. Nevertheless, I did excel at manufacturing slogans, headlines and sayings that clients were guaranteed to reject. You'd think that McDonald's would have rejected "I'm Loving It" as too weak, unspecific and just dumb, but apparently they went for it so I'd like to provide them some even crappier taglines, in case they need some.

New McDonald's Taglines

I'm Likin' It™

I Have Affection Towards It™

Re: It, I Am Loving™

I'm Partial Towards It™

This is Good™

This is Pretty Good™

This is All Right™

A'ight™

Satisfactory™

Mmm™

Mm™

Hm™

Not Bad™

Better Than Not Eating™

I'm Lovin' This!™