August 15, 2003

Today is the day to be mean to your significant other.

Unfortunately, my interviewee of the day lost his/her power on the East Coast, and here we are. But I am not going to leave you high and dry this Friday, for those of you lucky enough to have electricity. It's time for...

The Ted Williams' Frozen Head Interview!

Claire Zulkey: So, um, uh...the "Splendid Splinter," huh?

Ted Williams' Frozen Head: ...

CZ: Okay, okay, that wasn't even really a questions. Um...how did it feel to hit your 500th home run?

TWFH: ...

CZ: Okay, this is demeaning to both of us. I can't avoid it anymore, I'm sorry. I mean, despite the fact that you wanted to be cremated upon death, you weredecapitated by surgeons at a cryonics company and you body is suspended in liquid nitrogen, and several samples of your DNA are missing. Seriously, what's up with that?

CZ: Hello?

TWFH: Yeah, it's pretty weird.

CZ: How does it feel to be the first decapitated frozen head to be interviewed for Zulkey.com?

TWFH: I feel like the luckiest frozen head in the world.

CZ: Isn't that Lou Gehrig's line?

TWFH: Yeah, why don't you try interviewing him?

CZ: That's pretty mean.

TWFH: ...