July 15, 2003

Today is the day to spot the two articles in last week's Onion that bear surprising resemblance to two things I have written.

I don't mean to brag, but I'm going to go ahead and brag: I'm going to the All Star Game, la la la la la la! Keep an eye out for me when you're watching at home, suckas.

As I said yesterday, due to technical difficulties on my end, I am relying on you, the Zulkey.com readers, to help me run this site wtih your bad poetry. "But Claire," you might say, "I can't write poetry." Exactly. That's why you should send it to me. The stinkier, the better. And here we go, with today's installment.

"Untitled," by John Thompson (kissing up is also quite welcome)

It's bright

My weekend is here

and my Yogurt is Shaken (not stirred)

you Zulkey, Claire Zulkey

Made me happy.

"Untitled," by David Mogolov

Meat, inverted

Perchance, some venison

on this chilly night.

Some reindeer, or antelope

would be a delight.

Not on a plate,

or cooked to well done,

but alive and kicking.

Free. On the run.

"Not a Haiku," by Paul Davidson

I never got this,

Whole thing about counting words,

What an idiot