How To Tell If Your Friend Is Actually a Superhero

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June 30, 2003

Today is the day to turn on the air conditioning on full blast and put a fire in the fireplace.

I've gotten some great phobia stories as I requested last week, but I could use some more. Read what I'm talking about and send me your story and we'll run 'em on Thursday.

I bet you're wondering where Dr. Hot Pants is right now. Well, after taking the boards, she took a well-deserved location and she's currently on some island whose name I can't even nearly pronounce but hopefully she'll be back soon with more answers to your questions, so send them in if you're so inclined.

And now:

How To Tell If Your Friend Is Actually a Superhero

1. Read aloud from the newspaper an article about said superhero's latest escapade. At this point, the superhero's intentions are still unknown, and thus they are called into question in the article.

2. Listen closely. If your friend says, "I don't know why you read that garbage," he or she is most likely the superhero in question.