Headlines

March 31, 2003

Today is the day to suggest something outrageously bawdy for an improv show.

Send me pig art.

I've got some restaurant and bar reviews up on CenterStage Chicago. Here's a full list of the new batch, in case you feel like lookin'.

It's no secret that the news has been pretty depressing, pretty dire these days, and news sources everywhere are suffering from readership and sales. Nobody wants to be assaulted with negative headlines every day, so less people are buying periodicals, which means that less advertisers are putting in their money. Publications everywhere are suffering.

So, in order to lure back readers and advertisers, many of your favorite papers and magazines have been writing lighter, friendlier stories to distract citizens from the war and to generally make them feel good again. Here are some actual headlines seen in just the last week:

Puppies!
-New York Times

Springtime is Nice.
-Washington Post

Jay Leno Sure Was Funny Last Night
-Chicago Tribune

Hey, It's Time for Baseball!
-Boston Herald

Your Hair Smells Like Lilac
-Harpers

Oooh, Colin Farrell, Oooh!
-Wall Street Journal

Would You Like a Brownie?
-The Economist

That's a Flattering Color on You
-USA Today

Everybody Likes Hugs
-American Spectator

It's Fun to Quote John Hughes Movies
-Time