March 27, 2003

Today is the day to do side bends or situps, but please don't lose that butt.

One of the many facets of my personality is that I often have very strange, very vivid dreams. There was the one where I had to procure a chocolate chip cookie for President Bush, the one about a mysterious animal called the "Georgia Peach" that was a hamster crossed with a pigeon and a fish, and then there are the numerous celebrity sex dreams.

Recently, though, I had a dream that was so funny (to me) that I had to share it with you, because I think it presents a unique opportunity for the more artistically inclined Zulkey.com readers.

The dream was simple. I was wandering around a store that sold inspirational posters, like the ones of a kittie clinging to a branch that says "Hang in there, baby!"

I saw a new poster, though. A piglet was standing on a chair, his nose pointed indignantly in the air, and the caption read: "I ain't no pig, boy!"

Yes, it's true.

Anyway, I told an acquaintance about the dream and he, inspired, presented me with some artistic renderings of the dream. They made me laugh until I nearly passed out. I thought about sharing them with you, but then I realized: everybody can pitch in!

That's right! What is your interpretation of "I ain't no pig, boy!"? Where does it take place? Is the pig actually saying "I ain't no pig, boy!", or is he conveying it in a different way? Warm up the "paint" program on your computer, get Photoshop ready, or just draw, paint or paste something together and scan it on over to me for the First Zulkey.com Call for Artistic Submissions. I only ask that you save it as a jpeg and please keep it not much bigger than 250x250 pixels. Submissions are due in a week.

Get crackin'!