January 31, 2003

Today is the day to bring me some soup.

We at Zulkey.com are happy it's Friday. It's difficult to spend a weekend enshrouded with literary goodness such as that at Bookhouse Rock, and then to return the proverbial 'daily grind.' So to celebrate the weekend, please get to know a famed celebrity, and one of the only poets I can stomach, Mr. Johan More. He will brighten your day. Or, not.

The Johan More Interview: Slightly Less Than Ten Questions Since He Might Not Actually Exist

Are you a real person, or are you a figment of somebody's imagination?
Haha. That's a silly question, but a valid one. I'm pinching myself right now. I feel real to me. I think there's a misunderstanding that people have about poetry in general that makes them think that most of us are "imaginary", which I understand. In fact, many people thought the same thing about Italy's own Vicente Faglilio, but I assure he's as real as crib death. But, that's very flattering that you think that, actually. Thank you!

You've managed to annoy and anger a lot of people in your career. Why do you think that is? Is it you, or are people just not ready for Mr. More?
I wasn't aware that I was annoying people. That's a shame though. Poetry is an acquired taste. And as with any acquired taste, it just takes some time to get used to and understand the full essence of the flavors they're experiencing. But, I assure you if people eat more of me, they'll like me.

Why is your tagline "Peace!!!"? Why the extra exclamation points?
Oh, that's something my mother used to do. She used to sign all her letters like that. I asked her the same thing and she said that the hip-hop stars had kind of given "Peace" a different connotation altogether. So, she wanted to separate herself from that crowd. What do those guys say 'Peace Up' or 'Out'? So when I say "PEACE!!!", I mean it.

What inspires you in your poetry?
I like to incorporate a lot of different cultures in my poetry. Americans in general seem to have this really ignorant perspective that they're the only people on the planet. Well, I assure you they're not. I mean look at all these different types of people we have here! It's not just Caucasians anymore. I just read something that said Puerto Ricans outnumber everybody now in this country. Puerto Ricans! That's
something that this country just has to accept. And let me be the first to say to all my Puerto Rican brethren--"Aloha!".

When did you first begin to write poetry?
Oh, it's been a little over a year now. I used to be a copy writer at Ad Mark in Charleston, SC for many years and then I just got sick of it. I felt so--soulless. And poetry is the soul of words and I really wanted to dig deep into myself and find those words. So, I quit about 9 months ago and have been trying to be a professional poet since that time. I
remember the first poem I wrote "The Sky is Blue As A
Battered Woman", which had this awful rhyme scheme and
just was really, really flat. But, I've improved tremendously. Thanks in part to Annie Hackins, poet laureate of South Carolina.

Who is your poetic idol? Is it Annie Hakins, the poet laureate of Charleston, South Carolina?
Yes, I guess it would be. Annie was an inspiration from the start. She's this wonderful woman who I first saw read at The Jug-Jug Festival last Winter and her passion and voice just enveloped me. And she's quite courageous. Annie was in a horrible apartment fire two years ago and she was burned over 80 percent of her body. She barely has any features left on her face. The had to graft portions of her thighs on to her
mouth to make some lips for her. And she wears these big glasses in order to give her face some shape. But, when she speaks, you forget all about that. Her poems are that good. I even wrote one about her recently called "Your Face Looks Like A Used Candle, But Your Voice Still Burns". So, yes, I absolutely adore her.

Do you have a muse?
No, I do not. I've never even rode [sic] a horse before, if you can believe that.

You were mentioned in my interview with the guys from the Black Table. Do you have any little-known information on them?
Well, I was always a fan of Will Leitch's back in my copywriting days. His "Life As A Loser" column was one
I could really relate to--like the thousands of other people that read him. In my attempt to get in contact with Mr. Leitch, I met Mr. Gillin on the "Life As A Loser" Yahoo group, who told me that he knew Will really well. From there we just stayed in touch and those guys have always supported me when many others did not. So, I'm forever grateful to them. Oh, I'm sorry, that didn't answer your question at all. So, no. I don't know much about them accept [sic] that they're nice.

How does it feel to be the first mysterious person to receive a half an interview on Zulkey.com?
Well, I'm honored. Anything I can do to help get the word out about poetry is always a welcome interview for me. And I'll be sure to let everybody know that Claire Zunkey [sic] is one of the nicest guys [sic] I know! PEACE!!!