November 4, 2002

Today is the day to laugh at 23 different kinds of danger.

...Taken from the latest issue of Cosmopolitan magazine...

All-About-You-Quiz: Slut, Whore or Lame-o?

1. Your friend gets a very unflattering haircut and asks you what you think, honestly. What do you do?
a.) Make out with her.
b.) Go have sex for money.
c.) Tell her that it's not the best look she's ever had, but she's so pretty that she can carry it off anyway. Go home and pray.

2. You're going on a red-hot date and your best dress is soiled. Your roommate just bought a totally smokin' outfit but she hasn't worn it yet. Shes's also out of town. Do you borrow it without asking her?
a.) Yes, and then get it on with not one, not two, but three guys on your date.
b.) Hey, you've taken her johns without asking, why would she care about a stupid outfit?
c.) No, that's not right.

3. Your out-of-town honey is finally back, but for one night only, but so is your Aunt Gladys. For reasons unexplained, you can only see one of them. What do you do?
a.) Show your boobs on "Girls Gone Wild."
b.) Be sure to wear protection every time you turn a trick, even if he looks like a nice guy.
c.) Aunt Gladys, Aunt Gladys, Aunt Gladys. Men come and go, but Aunt Gladys doesn't.

4. You go to your company Christmas party and get totally smashed. You may or may not have said something off-color to your boss. What do you do?
a.) Give her her panties back.
b.) Make sure to use a fake name when you whore so that unsavory characters can't track you down.
c.) Kill yourself. Getting drunk? For shame!

5. Are you a whore, a slut, or a lame-o?
a.) Hey, I just like to have a good time.
b.) It's all business.
c.) A what, a what or a what?

ANSWERS:
If you answered...

Mostly a's...You're a slut. Everybody likes you.

Mostly b's...You're a whore. Don't listen to what they say. It's empowering.

Mostly c's. You're a lame-o, lame-o. Why don't you go back to your knitting?