June 20, 2002
Today is the day to know that everything is going to be fine.
Hey. Don't miss tomorrow's interview. It's long-delayed and perfectly-timed. And the interviewee is cute.
You look like you would like to read my review of Media Unlimited.
**********************************************
The scenario:
A semi-full Evanston Express El train, headed northbound. It is a beautiful clear, warm evening and most of the riders on the train are sitting quietly, reading, listening to music, or staring out the window. It is silent.
Except for one woman. A blonde woman, who looks a bit like Allison Janney. She is wearing a white skirt, a pink and white tie-dyed top and black low-heeled sandals. Purple sunglasses.
And she has a cell phone. Oh, does she have a cell phone.
She is talking loudly, even though the train is otherwise silent. And not only is her voice loud, but her conversation is loud, too. When her fellow conversationalist says something that she apparently doesn't agree with, she exclaims repeatedly, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut! Up!"
She also seems very reluctant to end this conversation with this person. Several times she begins the "Okay, well, I gotta..." conversation enders, but she does not end the conversation until after she leaves the train at the Howard stop. Her conversation lasts from the Loop to the border of Evanston/Chicago.
What wouuld you do?
- Get on my own cell phone, call a friend, or at least pretend to, and say loudly, "Oh my god, there is a woman on her cell phone here and she is so obnoxious, I just had to call to tell you."
- Kindly politely ask her to please lower her voice.
- When she says "Shut up! Shut up! Shut! Up!" respond, "Why don't you shut up?"
- Sit next to her and start acting insane so as to throw her off and perhaps force her to depart the car.
- With your fellow annoyed train-mates, slay her and devour her before you reach the Lindon stop, so no trace of her remains. Except her phone.
- With your fellow train-mates, send her dirty looks but ultimately do nothing.
Guess what I did?