June 18, 2002

Today is the day to email Meghan Haynes and tell her how beautiful she is.

Note: Today's list does not condone the consumption of alcohol, whether it be by minors, elders, pregnant women, in large quantity, in small quantity, delicately, sloppily, upside-down, or anything else. Okay?

Things a Drunk Girl Must Do Before Falling Asleep, in Ascending Importance (to many, the last one or two or ten or so steps are optional and even unnecessary)

Not throw up
Make ceiling stop spinning
Bring garbage can to bedside
Bring water to bedside
Get mad at roommate for allowing drunk-dialing
Call friends
Call all previous boyfriends
Call current boyfriend
Eat some bread
Drink a lot of water
Remember where wallet/purse are
Put on pajamas
Take proper medication
Pee
Wash off makeup
Take out contacts
Turn off appliances
Brush
Floss
Moisturize
Do crunches
Pluck eyebrows.