June 17, 2002
Today is the day to be careful.
I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Mine was pretty good, thanks. The weather was nice on Sunday, which was good for the paraders. You see, I live on a private street, and for some reason, during the summertime, it is the walking route of just about every walking cause you can think of. Yesterday women were streaming down our street from about 9 a.m. - 2 p.m., wearing a lot of fanny packs and doing a lot of whoopin' and hollerin'. My mom thought they were all lesbians; I thought it was a breast cancer thing.
Neither my family nor my neighbors are anti-activism. However, it does get annoying when we try to pull out of our driveway and the marchers/walkers/runners/cyclists what have you doing whatever to raise money for et cetera, give us dirty looks for getting in our way. As if we had just moved onto Bourbon Street and were complaining about the noise and the toplessness. It's enough to make you a grouch.
Anyway, it's time for a final discussion on "American Idol." If you don't know what it is by now, it's a sort of reality show on Fox that started last week when thousands of wanna-be pop stars had singing auditions in front of three very tough judges: Paul Abdul, some bitchy British guy named Simon and then some other dude named Reggie or Randy or something and really doesn't do much at all (but be careful: don't insult his weight.) Anyway, these judges would crap all over the bad auditioners and then send the good ones on their way to the semifinals. The show, sadly, gets less and less entertaining as the performers become more and more talented. It's just not as funny as, say, the guy who sang this:
Silent Night.
I said-a Silent Night.
So, I had a few comments on "American Idol," and since I made such a stink about asking for them, I am going to publish them here. And then we'll never speak of this show again.
From Chad Stevens, For Whose Input I Pressured Him:
I watched American Icon last night and the night before. It was like a
train wreck; noisy and ugly, but impossible to turn away from. I wish that
I had known about the auditions. I
could have been the guy who sang beautifully but was told, "I'm sorry,
you're too old. Forget it. Go home and grow some squash in your garden and
yell at the neighborhood kids. You'll never be a star."
But I wouldn't cry or yell at them. I would quietly turn away, knowing that
the anthrax on the sheet music I left behind would take care of them. I would
have to figure out how to develop a strain of anthrax that would only kill
British people. I would be very careful not to let any of it get into the
hands of India, or any of the other former British Colonies. Because
they might use it for purposes other than well deserved punishment of rude
record executives who crush people's dreams. Paula Abdul seems very nice.
The record producer guy slightly less so.
From Denise Konjevich, Queen of Reality TV Critics:
What the hell is wrong with us that we are sucked into a show like this you
ask? My answer is that I'm nosy. Yes, I admit that always want to see what
people are doing or what is going to happen and that is why I watch these
shows.
But American Idol...I don't know about this one. At first it was fun watching
the imbeciles that thought they could sing show up and get made fun of. What
were some of these people thinking? I could see if you thought you could sing
or thought you had "the look" but some of them had neither. Wouldn't
you think you would ask the opinion of your friends or family before subjecting
yourself to the harsh criticism that Fox loves handing out to people?!
I mean, if you can't sing that's one thing, but if you can REALLY sing and an asshole judge just thinks that you are too fat, your nose is too big or he just doesn't like you then there is something wrong. Granted, the entertainment industry is vain and America is so focused on being blonde and thin, but how are we ever going to break that stereotype? Look at people like Missy Elliot who is so popular and everywhere these days. What if some British ass told her that she would never make it? What ever happened to TALENT?!
And do you get a wild card and automatically make it if you have a sob story?
My parents are deaf...My dad died...My foot fell off...Um...Okay welcome to
Hollywood. COME ON PEOPLE!
The judges, oh the judges...
Paula Abdul needs to get some balls. If you're a judge, then for Christ's sake don't cry in front of the contestants. I can understand feeling bad for people or being moved by a song, but for crying out loud do it in private!
For that British guy Russell, it's good that he is honest with people, but he needs to stop telling people that they will never make it unless hell freezes over. What if everyone in the world didn't do something because the first time they tried it someone told them they sucked? He is way harsh...
Randy. That guy is like Switzerland. He's neutral. Sometimes he stands up for people and then other times he acts like he's 2 years old, "Well...You need to lose about 100 lbs and buy a new jacket". C'mon, you told the guy he was no good, his feelings are hurt and you're going to stoop down to his level? Grow up and have some compassion...
All I have to say is that I would much rather watch a show on FOX about people going on auditions. At least we could get a laugh once in a while. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Watch these people sing?....
From Nora Geraghty, Who Gave Me Feedback Right Away, and
Thus, is My Favorite:
I'll admit it--I closed the blinds, locked the door, turned the volume down
low, and spent an hour and a half in front of American Idol last night. I
was intrigued by the commercial I saw with a young woman destroying "Lady
Marmalade," and I was not disappointed in my quest to see people thoroughly
embarrass themselves. I've been trying to decide what my favorite moment of
the show was, and, since it's impossible to choose between all of Simon's
clever, dream-crushing insults, I'd have to say that I'm torn between "Tamika"
who told Paula Abdul that she was just jealous, and the girl who
traveled with her mother to three different cities (L.A, Dallas, and Miami,
I believe) in order to appear before the judges and sing "whatever God
puts into my heart." Her subsequent performance was enough to make a
atheist out of anyone. Though I disagreed with some of the judges' choices,
I have to say that I'll be tuning in again tonight. It might not be the quality
Fox programming I'm used to, but it's better than writing papers.
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Thanks to all my thoughtful viewers! Remember, why do anything else when you can watch FOX?