April 25, 2002

Today is the day to eat potato chips, but only the Cape Cod brand.

I have a new book review on Popmatters--a delicious little nugget called Complications. If any of you are interested in science or medicine as a career, or just in general, I heartily recommend it.

Here's one for you dream interpreters: last night I dreamt that I was pregnant, but instead of giving birth the traditional way or through a C-section, I slowly had to cut and peel off pieces of my stomach in order to get to the baby inside. As you can imagine, I wasn't too psyched to meet the baby that made me cut off my stomach. It's gross. What does it mean?

Here are some haikus I wrote about my experience at the dentist's yesterday.

Mmf
My hygienist likes
to talk to me with her hands
in my mouth. Shirley!

In Your Face, Sucka
My new toothbrush can
kick your toothbrush's ass. It's
shiny, blue, and free.

Sweet!
No cavities! No
cavities! The one body
part I have not failed.

Genetically Superior?
I only have two
wisdom teeth and I'm going
to keep them. Thank you.

2 Bads, 1 Good
Toothbrush tickles and
plaque chips are gross. But I like
the cinnamon paste.

Dr. Stephens
He is cute and scraped
off a piece of enamel.
He hates "The Osbournes."

Reading "People" in the Waiting Room
Actresses give birth
at 40. Calista and
Harrison: not cute.

On a Related Note
Doesn't it look like
Ewan MacGregor has too
many teeth? Bling bling!