April 2, 2002

Today is the day to learn the difference between spinach and collard greens, if you haven't already.

Hey! I'm back from vacation and are my arms tired! I had a lovely time seeing my friend Brooke (who has claimed the title "Lifestyle Director" of Zulkey.com) in Charleston, S.C., and thus today bring you Southern-themed lists (yes, more than one. I'm overcompensating.). I'm sorry if you all missed me: I'll never leave you like that again. I'm sure I scared you!

First, though, a little maintenance. Believe it or not, the wheels of this "Inter-Net" grind on even while yours truly is away. Behold:
Micro-Content in the new issue of Whet Magazine, a short piece of mine called "Hangover Street."
An award nomination: I almost got an Opy, but damned if I didn't have to go home sad. Read all about it here. But hey, if I had to lose to somebody, I'm glad it was to Sir Christopher Hickman.
And, thank God almighty, I have a reason to live--the baseball season began! My White Sox won! Awesome.

Some Southern Food I Ate in Charleston Whilst Visiting My Friend Brooke

Sweet pickles
Sweet tea
Sweet green beans
Honey butter
Biscuit
Cornbread
Fried Chicken
She-crab soup

Some Not-Southern Food I Ate in Charleston Whilst Visiting My Friend Brooke

Popcorn
Pizza
Cadbury Creme Egg
Chianti Classico
Wendy's

A Hilariously Politically-Incorrect Joke I Learned from a Guy Named Barney in Charleston Whilst Visiting My Friend Brooke

Q: What do you tell a woman who has two black eyes?

A: Nothing. You done told her twice already.

 

Oh, come on, that was funny. Don't deny it. (Why would you want to? You need me.)