MARCH 25, 2002

Today is the day to wonder, if you had to live in the house from either "Poltergeist" or "The Exorcist," which would it be?

Happy Monday. Bleah. It's no good going back to work. Why not acquire a job title you're proud of? Click here for the details.

Yeah, so, Oscars, whoo hoo. What are we going to do now for the next week or so before something else big goes down? They were fine, although I have to say that I didn't see any of the movies that were nominated for "Best Picture," and that really takes part of the interest out, you know?

What I did notice as I watched the ceremony at my veddy veddy fancy Oscar party (hah) is that all these people apparently had speeches written out ahead of time. How sad would it be if somebody who was nominated spent weeks crafting this wonderful, touching, witty acceptance speech and didn't get to use it? They go home, sadly taking off their tuxedo or whatever and find the wrinkled piece of paper in their pocket, and think, "Well, I guess I'll never use this." That's why when I get nominated for an Oscar, I'm just going to wing it.