MARCH 11, 2002

Today is the day to eat graham crackers and pick them out of your molars when no one is looking.

Well, Zulkey.com has only been in existence for now, what, two weeks, and it's already getting rave reviews! Check out what some of its biggest fans are saying:

"Zulkey.com is SO much better than bisecting a head with a handsaw! I would much rather see Claire work on her website than set herself on fire while shaving her legs...again."
-Lauren Cerullo, first year medical student, Rush Medical College

"Zulkey.com is tastier than 'Sausages by Amy'...it's one juicy roast!"
-Meghan Haynes, Assistant Editor, Cahners Residential Group

"Has anyone heard? I got my schlong pierced last weekend!"
-Chris Murray, first year law student, George Mason University

"You're dead, Zulk! Ha ha ha ha!"
-Liz McArdle, executive assistant, Congressman Joseph Crowley's Office

"Yeah, Zulkey.com is great, but I'll be if Claire herself isn't also a great dancer!"
-Brooke Weinstein, jack of all trades

"You have a website? COOL!"
-My 9-year-old next door neighbor, who will go unnamed to protect her innocence

"You sort of look like my cousin."
-Her friend

"If you ever need a divorce, call my Dad, because he's a divorce lawyer."
-Her other friend

"Zulkey.com - I tried the website on Friday and it wasn't working! Now that's technology."
-Jeff Boison, Editor, Pindeldyboz

"I came home from work the other day and my roomate's cat was like, 'meow!' and I was all, 'Yeah, Zulkey.com is cool, you're right! But please don't take that tone with me.' She can be so pushy sometimes. Oh, and watch it, Mister Kangaroo. I see how you're trying to look down my shirt."
-Tracy Lyons, soon-to-be-graduate of University of Illinois

Thanks to all my supporters! I'll try to keep up the good work. Feel free to tell me what you think. This week premieres my the weekly interview. God willing.