Here are a few quick guidelines for you, the reader:

The reading is scheduled to begin at 8 PM. Please arrive by 6 PM. The reading will start sometime between 9-9:45 PM.

There is a three drink minimum for each attendant. Drinks are $15 each, including soft drinks. Please respect our readers and order all your drinks before the show begins.

That said, please respect our readers and try not to become inebriated until after the show ends.

Street parking is very limited. Our venue is accessible by public transportation--we are a short twelve-block walk from the CTA pink line. If you must drive, please do the earth a courtesy and ride-share to the event and back.

If you could design an original flyer promoting the event and post it on your social media accounts to get the word out, that would be great.

Each reader should plan to bring a minimum of ten friends to the event, and make sure everyone knows to stay through the whole reading in order to create an environment of creative support.

The suggested donation for attendees is $17. The ticket-taker is unable to make change.

Chairs are reserved only for the differently abled, surrogate parents, and the enlightened aged.

You are strongly encouraged, though not required, though we really do strongly encourage it, to dress in authentic 1920's speakeasy garb (Our host Vaughn will provide a list of affordable vintage stores.) If you are too fat, old, or broke to be comfortable performing in a costume purchased for this single event, please try to become less so before the reading.

Before the actual event, we will have two mandatory table reads so the readers will get to know each other and we can workshop your piece. Prepare for a half hour's worth of scathing criticism on your piece but please be gentle when critiquing other pieces because they are quite personal.

We encourage readers to practice their pieces at home before the table reads, in front of a mirror, in front of a live working microphone, in front of a live audience. We encourage you to do so in costume.

Don't forget that The Pen Is Writier Than The Sword is a competitive reading! The reading's losers are obligated to pay $10 each to the winner and also buy him/her drinks. (Don't forget as well to bring cash for the suggested donation [reminder: the ticket-taker does not have change.]) But don't forget to have fun!

We prefer to feature local writers. Please bring proof of residence and a credit card statement to the first table read.

The table reads will be held at Vaughn's house. He lives by the airport and has four cats and he does not believe in practicing catism by limiting their access in their own home. Street parking is limited at Vaughn's house. Please refrain from wearing perfumes or clothes that have been washed in perfumed detergent, because Vaughn's cat Stacy is sensitive to scents.

If you have any questions, please contact Vaughn at any time up to six weeks before the reading. After that, it's really too late to accommodate any changes. Thanks!

You will read for a minimum of 20 minutes. Out of consideration for the eleven other readers scheduled for the evening, please do not exceed 20 minutes, unless you wish to read for 40 minutes.

 There will be no intermission.

Our theme for this month is: "Discomfort." Please share a deeply uncomfortable moment from your recent past, and connect it thematically with the lyrics of a popular ragtime song. We'll assign you your ragtime song at the second table-read so you'll have at least one night to rewrite your essay and rehearse your accompanying karaoke performance. Be sure to bring comfy clothes for the improv round!

 ****

Written by Molly Backes, Kate Harding, Kelly McNees, Wendy McClure and myself. Hey by the way make sure you come to Funny Ha-Ha on Friday! There will be no intermission.