List: The six messages available to relay to your spouse via storebought Valentines.

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6827154573_4180a35b45_z.jpgI want to have sex with you all the time but in a slightly creepy cutesy way.

Our marriage is sexless but you're still a good bud.

Sorry our marriage is so hard but at least we're married on Valentine's day, huh?

Man, you suck at all the things you do. Ha ha!

You are a strong black man/woman and I celebrate our love.

We are a very religious couple.