The Judith Moore Interview

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Today is the day to eat waffles.

Guest Editor week here at Zulkey.com winds down with an interview with a woman who covers, in her newest book, what many consider to be an uncomfortable topic. It's fat, not in "I'm beautiful no matter what" ways or "Here's how you can shape up and feel great about yourself" ways. Fat Girl, a wrenching and distinctly-written memoir is getting great reviews and stirring up discussion.

The Judith Moore Interview: Just Under Twenty Questions

Why did you decide to write this book, and why now?
I wanted to tell secrets. I wanted to write what had not been written. I wanted to write what I wanted to read.

I was chatting with Wendy McClure, who was saying that even though she wrote about her weight issues, she still wasn't very prepared to actually speak about them to big audiences. Has that been an issue for you as you promote the book or were you ready for that?
I have a wonderful full-time job and I didn't want to take vacation time to do bookstores. Plus, nothing I write is likely to draw a big audience. That said, speaking about weight does not bother me.

In that vein, are many of your readers approaching you with their personal stories? Do you welcome them or are you tired of them?
Mostly, I get letters. Abut one-third of these letters are from men. Almost all the letter writers say some version of, "Thank you for telling my story."

Have you gotten grief from readers/critics for your use of the word "fat," as opposed to a more pleasant euphemism?
I certainly have received some unpleasant notes on Amazon.

In the New York Times review of your book, Jane Stern says "Moore is neither a whiner nor a victim." Did you feel that you had to work hard not to sound whiney or victimey or did you know it would not come out that way?
I sought out for a long time the correct voicing for this book. Once I find the voice in which I wish to tell a story, then the story seems to sit on my knee and tell itself.

What do you think of the fat acceptance movement? I read some reviews of your book from fat people who feel that you should have found positive elements of being fat instead of discussing the negatives.
You know, it's funny, but I do not know anything about the fat acceptance movement. And for me, personally, nothing about being fat has been positive. Also, I tried to make very clear in the book's opening pages that I was going to tell my story, not the story of other fat people.

Is it psychologically difficult to write about something so personal and painful, or is it actually easier since it's something you've lived with so long?
In almost anything I write, I want the reader to feel that the text is being whispered into his or her ear, that the breath of the voice telling the story is making the tiny hairs in those ears feel the wind of breath move them. I want the story to feel more told than written.

I try not to "go to paper" until I can tell at least part of a story, out loud, to myself. Here, again, I am searching for the voice in which I will tell the story. By the time I "go to paper" I usually already have suffered whatever psychological difficulties that I have. I am ready, by then, to work out technical problems. As instance, I wanted, in this book, to offer no reasons for how I behave: I wanted the reader to make his or her decisions about my story and the actions that I took. I wanted the reader's strong participation in the text. I wanted the reader to reach out to the narrator. Also, I wanted the book to be fairly short, short enough that the book could be read in one sitting (if the reader were uninterrupted). And … even though much of the book's material was unhappy, I still wanted to offer, through word choices and description, pleasure.

Have you written much fiction? How does it compare to nonfiction for you?
I have written fiction and I have then gone on to write about how I screw up, again and again, when I do write fiction..

A lot of readers note your olfactory details throughout the book. Was that just a theme in this particular book or are you a person who has a strong/sensitive sense of smell?
I confess. I have a terrific sense of smell. I am one of those people who can sniff out a skunk from blocks away. I am the person who knows first that a cigarette has fallen onto the woolen carpet.

You also published a book of food writing. Do you think a food writer needs to have a slightly unhealthy relationship with food in order to really appreciate it and write about it? Almost as if you need to love food more than the average person.
NO. A food writer needs lots of hands-on experience with planning, shopping, chopping, cooking, watching and listening to people who are eating food she has fixed.

You're an acclaimed writer who has won a Guggenheim fellowship. Have you received criticism from other writers and academics for writing about what could be considered a 'shallow' topic, instead of rising above it all with your talent and intellect?
This may be an excessively prideful thing to say, but I do not think Fat Girl is shallow. Even more pridefully, I will note that the blurbs on the back of the book would indicate that the book is not just one more half-written fat diet sad girl book. Re-reading Fat Girl, I found it almost unbearably intimate.

According to Karen Durbin of New York magazine, between yours and Wendy's book and "Fat Actress," there is something coming about called "fat chic." Do you think this is true or does the same topic continue renewing itself?
Don't know. But I loved that dress that Kirstie Alley wore in the lead photo in that piece. I want that dress.

Why do you think that when it comes to women and weight, the issue is just as universal as it is personal? I.e. so many readers seem to feel that you have a 'message,' rather than you are writing about yourself, and that one must bear a certain responsibility when writing about weight?
I have had lots of trouble in radio interviews with this business of "message." Because truth is I never think of message. I think of story and of what word comes next and of how I can describe an action so that the reader will feel his hand in the pocket of the page. I am agnostic toward message, atheist even.

Do you think if you were a fat child today, you would have had an easier experience or are people just as cruel now as when you were a child?
Do not know. I see more overweight children than I did when I was an overweight child.

Were you nervous about your family's reaction to the book?
No. All the older people are dead. What has made me anxious are my friends. I had talked little and in almost no detail of how I suffered (and I did suffer) as a child. Why? Because I do not enjoy pity. I am too proud. I hate being felt sorry for. So when Fat Girl was written and out in galley and friends read it and sobbed, I felt awful in a way for having written what I wrote.

Have there been other memoirs about weight that you have enjoyed/disliked?
Not really. I like Wendy McClure's straight-forward prose. I like her sense of humor. I like the detail she brings to the page. I like her narrative voice, especially when she turns it deadpan.

In among certain autobiographical writings, there is talk of obesity - Edmund Wilson mentions his (or am I dreaming that he does this in his journals). Wallace Stevens does not allude to his plumpness and his voracious appetite, but his biographer does. I think that Marguerite Yourcenar mentions her struggles with chub, as does May Swenson.

What are you working on now?
I can never talk about what I am working on while I work on it. The new text to me is like a lover and what goes on between that genderless lover and myself seems incredibly private and intimate.

How does it feel to be the 124th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
This was fun, to be asked smart questions by a smart person.

More interviews here.