Today is the day to eat waffles.
Guest Editor week here at Zulkey.com winds down with an interview with a woman who covers, in her newest book, what many consider to be an uncomfortable topic. It's fat, not in "I'm beautiful no matter what" ways or "Here's how you can shape up and feel great about yourself" ways. Fat Girl, a wrenching and distinctly-written memoir is getting great reviews and stirring up discussion.
The Judith Moore Interview: Just Under Twenty Questions
Why did you decide to write this book, and why now?
I wanted to tell secrets. I wanted to write what had not been written.
I wanted to write what I wanted to read.
I was chatting with Wendy
McClure, who was saying that even though she wrote
about her weight issues, she still wasn't very prepared to actually speak
about them to big audiences. Has that been an issue for you as you promote
the book or were you ready for that?
I have a wonderful full-time job and I didn't want to take vacation time to
do bookstores. Plus, nothing I write is likely to draw a big audience. That
said, speaking about weight does not bother me.
In that vein, are many of your readers approaching you with their personal
stories? Do you welcome them or are you tired of them?
Mostly, I get letters. Abut one-third of these letters are from men. Almost
all the letter writers say some version of, "Thank you for telling my
story."
Have you gotten grief from readers/critics for your use of the word "fat,"
as opposed to a more pleasant euphemism?
I certainly have received some unpleasant notes on Amazon.
In the New
York Times review of your book, Jane Stern says "Moore is neither
a whiner nor a victim." Did you feel that you had to work hard not to
sound whiney or victimey or did you know it would not come out that way?
I sought out for a long time the correct voicing for this book. Once I
find the voice in which I wish to tell a story, then the story seems to sit
on my knee and tell itself.
What do you think of the fat acceptance
movement? I read some reviews of your book from fat people who feel that you
should have found positive elements of being fat instead of discussing the
negatives.
You know, it's funny, but I do not know anything about the fat acceptance
movement. And for me, personally, nothing about being fat has been positive.
Also, I tried to make very clear in the book's opening pages that I was going
to tell my story, not the story of other fat people.
Is it psychologically difficult to write about something so personal and
painful, or is it actually easier since it's something you've lived with so
long?
In almost anything I write, I want the reader to feel that the text is being
whispered into his or her ear, that the breath of the voice telling the story
is making the tiny hairs in those ears feel the wind of breath move them.
I want the story to feel more told than written.
I try not to "go to paper" until I can tell at least part of a
story, out loud, to myself. Here, again, I am searching for the voice in which
I will tell the story. By the time I "go to paper" I usually already
have suffered whatever psychological difficulties that I have. I am ready,
by then, to work out technical problems. As instance, I wanted, in this book,
to offer no reasons for how I behave: I wanted the reader to make his or her
decisions about my story and the actions that I took. I wanted the reader's
strong participation in the text. I wanted the reader to reach out to the
narrator. Also, I wanted the book to be fairly short, short enough that the
book could be read in one sitting (if the reader were uninterrupted). And
even though much of the book's material was unhappy, I still wanted
to offer, through word choices and description, pleasure.
Have you written much fiction? How does it compare to nonfiction for you?
I have written fiction and I have then gone on to write about how I screw
up, again and again, when I do write fiction..
A lot of readers note your olfactory details throughout the book. Was
that just a theme in this particular book or are you a person who has a strong/sensitive
sense of smell?
I confess. I have a terrific sense of smell. I am one of those people
who can sniff out a skunk from blocks away. I am the person who knows first
that a cigarette has fallen onto the woolen carpet.
You also published a
book of food writing. Do you think a food writer needs to have a slightly
unhealthy relationship with food in order to really appreciate it and write
about it? Almost as if you need to love food more than the average person.
NO. A food writer needs lots of hands-on experience with planning, shopping,
chopping, cooking, watching and listening to people who are eating food she
has fixed.
You're an acclaimed writer who has won a Guggenheim fellowship. Have you
received criticism from other writers and academics for writing about what
could be considered a 'shallow' topic, instead of rising above it all with
your talent and intellect?
This may be an excessively prideful thing to say, but I do not think Fat Girl
is shallow. Even more pridefully, I will note that the blurbs on the back
of the book would indicate that the book is not just one more half-written
fat diet sad girl book. Re-reading Fat Girl, I found it almost unbearably
intimate.
According to Karen Durbin of New York magazine, between yours and Wendy's
book and "Fat Actress," there is something coming about called "fat
chic." Do you think this is true or does the same topic continue
renewing itself?
Don't know. But I loved that dress that Kirstie Alley wore in the lead photo
in that piece. I want that dress.
Why do you think that when it comes to women and weight, the issue is
just as universal as it is personal? I.e. so many readers seem to feel that
you have a 'message,' rather than you are writing about yourself, and that
one must bear a certain responsibility when writing about weight?
I have had lots of trouble in radio interviews with this business of "message."
Because truth is I never think of message. I think of story and of what word
comes next and of how I can describe an action so that the reader will feel
his hand in the pocket of the page. I am agnostic toward message, atheist
even.
Do you think if you were a fat child today, you would have had an easier
experience or are people just as cruel now as when you were a child?
Do not know. I see more overweight children than I did when I was an overweight
child.
Were you nervous about your family's reaction to the book?
No. All the older people are dead. What has made me anxious are my friends.
I had talked little and in almost no detail of how I suffered (and I did suffer)
as a child. Why? Because I do not enjoy pity. I am too proud. I hate being
felt sorry for. So when Fat Girl was written and out in galley and friends
read it and sobbed, I felt awful in a way for having written what I wrote.
Have there been other memoirs about weight that you have enjoyed/disliked?
Not really. I like Wendy
McClure's straight-forward prose. I like her sense of humor. I like the
detail she brings to the page. I like her narrative voice, especially when
she turns it deadpan.
In among certain autobiographical writings, there is talk of obesity - Edmund Wilson mentions his (or am I dreaming that he does this in his journals). Wallace Stevens does not allude to his plumpness and his voracious appetite, but his biographer does. I think that Marguerite Yourcenar mentions her struggles with chub, as does May Swenson.
What are you working on now?
I can never talk about what I am working on while I work on it. The new text
to me is like a lover and what goes on between that genderless lover and myself
seems incredibly private and intimate.
How does it feel to be the 124th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
This was fun, to be asked smart questions by a smart person.
More interviews here.