First born: You are a leader, crave approval and are crazy neurotic because throughout your life your parents were just making it up as they went along.

First born with a lot of younger siblings: You are angry because you had to spend your childhood taking care of little kids.  

Second born: You are very charming, because you are skilled at deflecting attention towards you, but also naughty, because that seems like a fun way to forge an identity separate from the first.

Third born and onward: You seem generally pleasant and self-sufficient. Nobody has ever been totally sure since the first borns and second borns have been busy sucking the air out of the room for all these years.

Middle child: You are either very well adjusted or very poorly adjusted, with no middle ground.  

Only child: Everyone is too afraid to tell you what you're really like.

Long delayed surprise late in life baby: You are probably in at least a few government databases because nobody had time to watch you as a child.  

Second oldest step sister: You are a Suppressed Person, an antisocial personality,  whose disastrous and suppressive acts are said to impede the progress of individual family members or that family at large.  

Much younger half brother: You cannot be defined in words, only math and art. This is a visual depiction of your personality: