1. You don't put on enough sunscreen. Empty an entire bottle into a bucket. Then empty another bottle into the bucket. Repeat until the bucket is full. That is enough for your face.
   
   
2. You don't reapply frequently enough. Every moment you happen to forget you are wearing sunscreen, it is time to put on some more.
   
   
3. You probably buy some cheap brand made for trash people. Do the research! If your sunscreen doesn't cost about $40 per ounce it's like, you must hate your body.
   
   
4. You don't put it on at the right time. If you really want to avoid getting burned, the night before you go out in the sun you should set an alarm every two hours to wake up and reapply. Sleep standing up so you don't rub the sunscreen on your sheets.
   
   
5. You hold onto your sunscreen for too long. Sunblock has a shelf life! You should throw yours out as you are walking out of the store from which you purchased it.
   
   
6. You skip spots. Don't forget under your tongue, between your ears, and, of course, inside your butt.
   
   
7. You think sunscreen is enough. You fool! Purchase a home in an underground cave. And then continue with steps 1-7.
   
   
8. You buy any old children's sunscreen for your kids. That makes us sad.
   
   
9. You flip past the magazine articles that tell you the ways you are being a total idiot about sunscreen. New information is being released every day about sunscreen and if you don't read all of it you will die of skin cancer and TOTALLY DESERVE IT.