This weekend I checked out an article by Justin Sablich in the New York Times about how to go to a theme park when you hate roller coasters. I only had time to read one section of it at first, and was excited to read more. Both Steve and I hate roller coasters and talk about what's going to happen if either of our kids is interested in them. At one time I thought, I love my sons so much and want them to perceive me as brave that I guess I'd suck it up and ride with them. But now I realize maybe it's better just to speak up and say "I don't like them and you'll need a friend or relative to do this with you, but I love you!" I don't think there's anything wrong with not liking the feeling of fear and being up front about it.
But then I read the rest of Sablich's review of Hersheypark as a non-coaster-head. I was a little dismayed by his recommended parts of the park, which included:
- Hershey's Chocolate World
- A chocolate lab class at the Hershey Story Museum
- Whoopie pie
- French fries with a cheese dipping sauce
- A restaurant where you can dip anything in chocolate
- The Falconry Experience
OK, the Falconry Experience might actually be cool--I just stuck it at the end there to be funny. But as a person who fears roller coasters I wish this article didn't seem to indicate that people who don't like roller coasters are, literally, candy asses. I am not exactly a bastion of health but the idea of going to an amusement park and spending the entire day eating (chocolate in the sun, no less) doesn't sound much better than going to the amusement park and spending the whole day riding roller coasters. Couldn't Sablich, at least for the sake of making coaster-haters look cool, offered alternate ideas for how to have fun? How are the games? The people-watching? Are there other rides that are enjoyable that are lower to the ground? Anything (besides birds) that doesn't involve sticking something in your gob?
Anyway, I am glad Sablich provided a rallying cry for us wusses/perfectly rational people who want to come out of the shadows. But now my job is to get us to look cooler. Maybe we need to start a gang and start attending parks with leather jackets featuring a roller coaster with a big NO sign on the back. We are more than whoopie-pie-eating softies.Â