Drinking While Pregnant - The Awl
I should have known better than to look at the comments on this story but I did anyway. I wrote the piece in part to work out my guilt and conflicting feelings but also to say hey to other women out there who might also not have had entirely dry pregnancies. People were fairly supportive and also fairly predictable (calling me selfish and the like.) Anyway, this topic in general is now, in truth, something I don't think or wonder about at all, now that the kids are outside my body. Sometimes I do think about this one commenter, though, who responded when Blair Koenig linked to the story on Facebook. The woman said that she hoped that Paul would be born with a "light" birth defect, like a malformed leg or something, to teach me a lesson. I actually found the commenter the other day and came ::thisclose:: to messaging her and telling her, I don't know what, that I am a real person and does she remember saying that, because I certainly remember having it said to me. But then I thought better of it.
True Confession: I Had A Baby And Now My Dog Is Driving Me Nuts - Fast Company
Honestly, most of the time the cruel comments on stories do hurt my feelings a little bit but the people who went bananas over this story were very clearly bananas themselves. I think to a man the biggest critics had no children themselves but had no problem telling me I was terrible for not loving my dog as much anymore. I think a lot of them didn't even bother reading the story because nowhere did I mention anywhere, like, not feeding the dog or kicking him or anything like that. In fact I even got the blessing from a spokesperson from the Humane Society that I wasn't so bad. All I did was just not love him as hard. But animal people on the internet -- especially those who are anti-children -- can be insane and ridiculous. I feel no guilt about this piece whatsoever, despite the people who went to far as to send me personal Facebook messages suggesting that I'm a bad mother to my human children because of the way I 'abandoned' the dog (who is now dead, of a broken heart.)
My Own Weight Issues Have Made It A Struggle To Not Body Shame My Husband - xoJane
I'd read xoJane enough times to know better than to read the comments on this story. A lot of people take any sort of weight story very personally so I think without even reading the piece they inferred that I just body shame people all over the place. How did I know that the comments were mean? People kept telling me. "Great piece! Those comments though--yeesh." Steve read the comments for me and told me it was pretty clear that the people who were the most irate didn't seem to bother reading the piece.Â
Why I Chose Not to Breastfeed... Twice - Mom.me
Mom.me has gone through some redesigns so the comments seem to be gone but they were pretty predictable. Selfish, shameful, etc. I started and stopped writing this piece numerous times in order to make it the most honest and to take into consideration that this is a topic people get really heated about. What can I say. I didn't write it to ask for forgiveness from the people I knew would never agree with me. I honest to god think this is a choice that more women should consider, thoughtfully, without guilt or agony, and wanted to put that out there.
Circumcision for the LOLs - Mom.me
I wrote this piece to troll people, 100%, so I could never be upset by the comments I got on it. I pretty much sought to write the piece that would be the most offensive to a set of people who are very angry already, curious to see if it would get me a lot of traffic for the month (I think it did okay.) Predictably, people either didn't get the humor or didn't find it funny at all and called me a sociopath, etc. One guy went so far as to message me on Facebook and talk about my kids' penises and that was not cool so he and his penis were both blocked.
"Life is Unfair: Isn't it Refreshing to Admit That?" - Jezebel
I was a little surprised that this piece got such an angry reaction from so many readers. In the piece I made the argument that fashion models will never represent most people, no matter what size or type of person they represent, because they're models, IE more beautiful than the rest of the populace. I maintain this POV, incidentally. Recently I saw a Target commercial that featured a disabled model, which is awesome, don't get me wrong. But she's a model nonetheless, prettier than you and me and most everyone we know. But whatever, I'm so old and tired I don't even see what models look like anymore, they're just a sea of faces. Anyway, I don't even remember why so many readers got mad about it but forget it, Jake--it's Jezebel.
Honorable mentions:
- The dude who went so far to create a fake email account to email me personally to tell me how much my Dexter recaps for the L.A. Times sucked. Secret message to that guy: I don't disagree with you. I lost interest in that show the last season or two I reviewed it.
- The one dude in the AV Club comments who called me "fucking retarded" because I didn't like one of the recurring sketches that involved third-rate sporting events sponsored by feminine hygiene companies. Because that's an appropriate reaction to someone disagreeing with you over an SNL sketch that, we can generously say, was not a classic.
- The review of the 2002 Super Bowl Halftime Show for Flak Mag, which no longer exists. I was disdainful of the way Bono tore open his jacket to reveal an American flag, as if he was helping us heal from 9/11 by doing so. They didn't have internet comments back then but I got a lot of personal emails telling me how much my opinion sucked on this matter.