Late last year I published a piece on Men's Health's website about the decrease of leg space on airplanes, sparked in part by an incident where a dude choked a lady after she tilted her seat back. Initially I thought the piece would be sort of a ha-ha post about how people be crazy, and then my editor actually wanted reporting about airlines! Can you believe that? So my initial quotes, from querying several advice columnists about what they thought was appropriate plane behavior, went unused.

UNTIL NOW:

To some who believe in the right to recline, the man's behavior is unacceptable. To others who are strongly anti-recline, the woman got off easy. But what exactly is right in this day and age? Why are we given the option to recline if it's such a terrible thing to do? What happens if you really want to recline and are polite enough to ask beforehand but are declined? I decided to consult a panel of advice colmnists to see if a consensus could be reached:

Don't you dare recline!

Deadspin's Ask a Clean Person Jolie Kerr: "While it's your right to recline -- you purchased your seat with all its attendant functionalities, after all -- given how contentious doing so has become, it's probably best to skip it and quietly congratulate yourself for your excellent citizenship."

Elle's E. Jean Carroll: "One must always decline to recline."

Recline with caution!

Ask Amy's Amy Dickinson: "If you want to recline, you recline as SLIGHTLY as you can in order to be comfortable. Look back and ask 'Is this OK with you?' If you recline and the person in back of you asks you not to -- you should not recline. If the person in front of you reclines and it is a significant problem, you should ask them to please put their seat back up, at least part-way. If they refuse, you get to choke them. (Just kidding.)"

The Emily Post Institute's Daniel Post Senning: "Ten years ago we used to say that those seats recline and if someone wants to recline them they can--they paid for their ticket. But we're modifying that advice. The emerging courtesy is that on short flights, or if the person behind you is working, or during mealtimes, that you don't recline your seat. You can, but there are all sorts of things in life you can do that you don't, because it's courteous not to. On longer flights, there is a time in the flight where a consensus emerges, usually when the screens are closed, the lights are off and the majority of people are reclining. Then it opens up as much space as you lose. But the emerging courtesy is, if you don't need to recline your seat, my default is that you don't.

Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck's Amy Alkon:  "If you must put your seat back, give warning to the person behind you and recline slowly and gently, lest you crack them in the nose or turn their laptop into a doorstop with USB. But, say the person in front of you reclines, giving you room to do little more than breathe in flight. To have some chance of getting them to give you a little space, swallow your hatred and ask very nicely, "Hey, I know you have every right to recline (killing what's likely to be their first objection), but is it possible for you to maybe meet me halfway?"

Go ahead and recline!

Uncommon Courtesy's Jaya Saxena: It's always okay to recline your seat. If it's a function your seat has, you're allowed to do it, just like the person behind you is allowed to recline their seat. Of course my heart goes out to the tall, the long-legged, and those who have babies in their laps, but airline companies have made it so that flights are pretty miserable for everyone, and everyone has the right to make themselves as comfortable as possible with the space and amenities available to them. One thing you can do though, is recline slowly. If you bang yourself back and the person behind you has long legs, it can really hurt. Just ease yourself back as much as you can.

If someone reclines on you, well, sorry? They're allowed to do it. You're allowed to do it too. You can maybe ask them politely not to, but don't expect that to go over well. And if you're the type of person inclined to choke someone over lost legroom, upgrade.

Uncommon Courtesy's Victoria Pratt: Yeah, I definitely agree, with the addition that it's nice to raise your seat again at meal time (ha!) so that everyone can use their tray easily. And on international flights, when the lights are out for sleeping, you very definitely can't complain about people reclining.

Some people say that for short flights- under, say,two hours, you shouldn't recline, but that doesn't make that much sense to me. I'm fairly short, so when a seat is in its full upright position, it actually leans me forward a tiny bit which can be pretty uncomfortable.

Screw it: let's start a new system!

Savage Love's Dan Savage: "I'm increasingly of the view that seats in coach should be set to a uniform decline/recline so as to avoid these kinds of altercations. You can either remove all the legroom on airplanes (as the airlines have done) or allow people to recline their seats--but it's insanity to both. I'm surprised there aren't more incidents like this one."