This is how my dear husband responded to these 36 questions mentioned in a Modern Love essay about how to know whether or not you're meant to be with someone. Not surprisingly, Steve's answers made me fall in love with him all over again.

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

A nice man or lady. A polite child would be okay too.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

No. If I answer that first question "No" then the second question doesn't make any sense.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

I have rehearsed everything I have ever done since age 10. I was prepared with the answers for this quiz more than 25 years ago.

4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?

Peanuts and peanuts, the food and the comic, but in reverse order

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I have never sung to myself nor to anyone else. Because of this, I have retained perfect pitch.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

The weak mind of a 30 year old is perfectly fine if answering questions like this are what I'm going to be spending the next 60 years doing.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Yes. Hunched in a secret hutch.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

There are only two and they are too disgusting to print.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

Grates full of things.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Less parsley.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

I do it in two or nothing.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

I've already collected them all, so no thanks.

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

How the crystal ball does it.

14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

I'm doing it now! This questionnaire!

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Getting to #15 of this questionnaire!

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

The savings.

17. What is your most treasured memory?

My first time seeing a banner ad on a website.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

When I had to turn away from looking at that banner ad.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

I'd do this questionnaire again!

20. What does friendship mean to you?

Nothing!

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

The roles of "Elizabeth" and "Train Porter #2"

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

No.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

They are very close and it is very warm because they are so close. I can barely breathe. I'm uncomfortable. It has always been this way.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

I have never met her, other than those several times during the first 36 years of my life.

Set III

25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling ... "

We are both in this room feeling feelings.
We are both in this room feeling the room.
We are both in this room feeling the room's feelings.

26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... "

That's all. No ellipses needed. I wish I had someone with whom I could share.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

That I once took a questionnaire!

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

You did a good job, partner!

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

I didn't really answer #28 of this questionnaire very well.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

I am currently crying in front of 30 people, but they are behind a two-way mirror, so although I know they are there, watching me, it also feels very much as if I were alone.

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

It feels like we did this already. You did a good job, partner.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

This questionnaire.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

I'm already dead. I was a ghost this whole time.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

My collection of fire memorabilia. Because it would be unexpected.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

The one who was eaten by a squid. Because they were in Iowa at the time.

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

I finished a questionnaire and now there aren't anymore questions to answer. What do I do?!