Whenever I notice that a friend of mine has a hobby or interest that leans towards the obsessive, I inform him or her that that's their "backup job." You know, in case the one you have goes to pot and you need to start all over again with an entire new career. Here are mine.

Nail Technician
I am pretty sure I wouldn't like Serena Williams half as much if she didn't pursue her secondary nail technician. I just love that she decided to spend time pursuing that beyond just a hobby despite her intense career--but I imagine that it's probably a stress release for her. I feel like I am better than the average bear when it comes to doing my own nails. I'm good at coloring in the lines and being patient and they come out pretty nice. Sometimes I even do nail art (but more along the decal route; I haven't gone into serious decoration, I think because I know that if one regular messed-up nail is annoying, then a failed nail-art nail must be downright heartbreaking.) If I could get past the chemical fumes and the inevitably shitty customers, I think working as a nail tech could be a good backup job, because it must be satisfying to look at a completed job and know it's finished--as long as the client didn't mess them up on you. Also, I would choose to do hands only. Can you do that?

History Author
This is not good for me to admit as a fiction writer, but I much prefer reading nonfiction to fiction--while my husband likes true crime and urban history type stuff, I like things that involve corsets and huge estates and long lines of mental illness caused by lots of inbreeding. (I just finished this book about servants in England and am reading this book about an eccentric filthy rich heiress who lived in a hospital and spent millions of dollars keeping her old mansions up to date just in case. I love Antonia Fraser so much that I'll read her kid's books, too.) Anyway, once when I was a youngster I decided I was going to take a stab at writing a book or screenplay about the bootlegger Texas Guinan but that stalled after I got tired of taking notes a few days into it. But being that person who gets access to the amazing, forgotten archives (like the author of this awesome biography of Edward VII that I read, who got special access to letters and whatnot by order of the Crown) sounds fantastic. I would do that, if somebody showed me how to make it turn out good and be profitable.

Healthy Living Guru
I've lost a bunch of weight a few times and have become a worky-outy kind of person. I'm certainly not a pillar of health but I'm extremely grateful that I feel that by and large, I'm in control of my health and that I no longer feel defined by my weight or relation to food--however, it's still an ongoing struggle to try to keep it all together. My success, along with my imperfections, combined with a desire to tell people what to do that probably comes from being a first-born child, could mean that I'd be a good wellness coach, as long as I could just jump right into it and don't have to become a Registered Dietitian or anything like that, because that all seems like a lot of work. Maybe I could become a personal trainer or something, as long as nobody minds a personal trainer who's got an inch you can pinch.

Networker
"Networking" is a nasty word that usually implies people having fake conversations with little actual interest just for the sake of discovering what the person you're speaking with can do for you. That's not the kind of networking I mean. What I'm talking about is that one of my very favorite things is when a friend of mine says "Gee, I need help doing X," and my brain starts thinking of all the people I know who have expertise in X so I can put the two in touch, or at least share information. I know a lot of people and they all have awesome things about them, so it's great when I can put one awesome person in touch with another and they can help each other. It's like matchmaking but without the unpleasant bits where one friend confides in you that your other friend likes weird things in bed. I don't know how I can turn this into a career but I'm pretty sure it's a thing that can be done and when I do (and after I lose 50 pounds and get a nose job and a lot more expensive wardrobe) they're going to do a story on me in the New York Times Style section.