A parenting newsletter I subscribe to featured an article called "This Mom's Food Art is Beyond Incredible," featuring lovingly-made, adorable, intricate, time-intensive designs sort of like the type you see here:

 

Well, so what. The food art I make for my son is beyond beyond incredible. See for yourself, if you can handle the inferiority complex it's definitely going to give you:

Here you've got a fire-damaged factory without windows adjacent to a very dirty swimming pool:


My son is always entertained by some baby chicks wandering around a manhole cover:


This is obviously a tenement after an earthquake:


A conflicted clown. Yummy!:


Kids love eating an illustration of a bunch of branches falling onto some brownstone houses that happen to have a lot of bowling balls in their basements:


What's more fun than a cat that's on drugs and also has no mouth?


My son always finishes every bite with this one: two dumb kids contemplating breaking through a fence to get into a swimming pool filled with hot lava and the remains of other dumb kids:


Who doesn't love a UFO filled with green and purple aliens observing an asteroid that's disintegrating upon re-entry as it falls upon an already-damaged forest:

 

And this, obviously, is a scathing commentary on the state of public education in the country today: