Steve and I took our first vacation without the baby last week, and we traveled to New Orleans, which is our favorite city in America that is not our hometown.

If Liz, my oldest friend from college, hadn't moved there with her husband Rich, I'm not sure that I would have even visited New Orleans more than once in my life. My parents took me when I was a kid, and my primary memories from that trip were: 1.) Beignets 2.) Shock and scandal at what we saw on Bourbon Street 3.) A distinct feeling that this was a city for adults who liked relaxing and drinking cocktails, which did not describe me.

But then Liz's husband Rich got a job with the Times Picayune several years ago and she agreed to join him down there, and that's where they got married. Their wedding would have been fun no matter where it occurred (I am particularly fond of Liz's big fun-loving family) but the New Orleans wedding was special. The bridal party took an impromptu photo with a streetcar (not a prop) before the ceremony, and after the ceremony, the entire wedding was joined by a brass band that led us through the French Quarter. We drank champagne and paraded and wore beads that were thrown to us from balconies. At the reception we ate tiny muffalettas and danced to the band and watched Liz's brothers jump over each others' shoulders.

The drinking in the street thing shouldn't seem like that big a deal--I'm a somewhat responsible adult, after all, but it is just that tiny little bit of extra party time that makes New Orleans special. I think we first realized what it meant the first time we were there and Steve and I contemplated waiting in line for the Acme Oyster House but were put off by the length of the queue. Then we realized: we could drink beer in the street while we waited! And that changed everything. There's something liberating too about getting a drink in a to go cup from a bar or restaurant and sauntering down the street.

That's one of the things I love most about New Orleans: the sauntering. There are obviously lots of problems with New Orleans--segregatation and violence, just like we have in Chicago--but there's also so much beauty. The old houses, the greenery, the wobbly cobbled sidewalks (a joke we had this time around was judging how bad the broken sidewalks would be for rollerblading.) Sauntering (which is a speed that is also required given the heat and humidity) just feels more right with a drink in your hand. I know New Yorkers think they invented pushy sidewalk jerks who have to get everywhere in a hurry but we have those in Chicago too, and sometimes I'm one of them. I've never felt the need to get out of the way or get around someone or stop looking around and enjoying myself when I'm in New Orleans though.

New Orleans isn't the only city where you can drink in the street. Steve at one point compared the French Quarter to Las Vegas, where I've never been. I argued though that one thing that I like about New Orleans that I don't think is true for Las Vegas is that, fun-wise, fortune doesn't necessarily favor the young and pretty. I feel like in Vegas, the beautiful people are pushed to the fore--I'm thinking for instance of those crowded hotel swimming pools or the dance clubs that make hundreds of thousands of dollars a night. Not in New Orleans. I feel like the happiest people in New Orleans are flabby middle aged moms who just came to party and are getting exactly the experience they wanted. Meanwhile, without fail whenever I visit that city I end up having a good, real, earnest conversation with a complete stranger I'll probably never see again, because there's just that much less fronting and bullshit in that town. You don't get special treatment for depriving yourself or willingly discomfiting yourself--in fact, I've finally just mastered the art of dressing in New Orleans I think, which is to say, no uncomfortable shoes, no clothes that I can't soak with sweat. Soon I'll know better than to even bring any hair-drying accoutrement.

What I recommend most of all if you choose to try to fall in love with New Orleans is to attach yourself to someone who knows the city. I end up walking down Bourbon Street once per visit and it's by far one of the weakest experiences of the trip. The main reason is that it smells like someone urinated into a puddle of vomit. Moreover it's just the same block over and over again with the same strip club, daiquiri/pizza place and "voodoo" store on repeat. And I get a little scared, just like in the old days.

Fortunately Liz and Rich always show us something new whenever we're in town. A couple of years ago they took us to some pre-Mardi Gras parades, so we visited an area of town called the Bywater when we took in a parade made of tiny floats. This most recent time we traveled to Algiers Point, a lovely neighborhood we'd never seen before that was the location of a post-wedding brunch that we tagged along to. The bride and groom let us freeload from their leftover beer and wine and eat fresh-shucked oysters and huge shrimp that had just been boiled. And afterwards, stuffed, Steve and I sauntered around. More sauntering!

I feel like I haven't even mentioned parades as much as you'd think for a love letter to New Orleans, but one other thing I love about the city is that it always feels like there's something to check out and that's not limited to parades. This weekend we took a swamp tour and attended to a Seafood Festival. Another time we saw a dog parade. The time before that Steve attended the Tennessee Williams Festival (the one that features a "Stella!" yelling competition.)

Of course it helps that we have friends in town who a.) put us up for free b.) know a lot about the town (Rich explained this time around to me what "neutral ground" means) c.) have got lots of cool friends. They love the city, just like an awful lot of other people there, which is one of the things I love about it most. Without my friends I'm not sure I'd know much more of the city beyond the French Quarter and that'd truly be a shame.

The first time I went to New Orleans with Steve, a friend warned him ahead of time, "Oh yeah, that place gets in your soul." Steve scoffed at the concept that anything, let alone a city, could infiltrate one's soul (soul, anyway? What is that?) But after a few days, he admitted. "It kind of got in my soul."

PS If you like, here is my Google map of the city that I've curated over the years, full of places friends have recommended to me over the years and other places I've read about in articles. It is sloppily curated and I have only been to a handful of these locations so can't vouch for all of them but the great thing about New Orleans is that you're probably not going to have a terrible time at any of them.