You may have never heard of "vodka-facials" or "fires," but chances are your kids are familiar with these dangerous trends. Here are some of the potentially deadly activities to look out for. (If they deny knowing anything about it it's a sign they're already addicted!)
Vodka facials:
Teens pour a shot of vodka on their face and wait patiently for their pores to absorb the alcohol.
Danger: Missing out on the homework they could be doing while they wait for the liquor to absorb.
Butt Smoking:
Teens purchase cigarettes and in order to escape detection from authority figures, use their rectums to inhale and exhale smoke.
Danger:
Cigarettes are expensive and will do damage to teen bank accounts, plus
there is a risk of cigarette burns to otherwise pristine teenage
tushies.
Somersaults:
The new planking.
Instead of walking, driving, skateboarding or rollerblading, teens
travel by performing continuous 360° flips down the street.
Danger: High risk of dirtiness, neck injury and silliness.
Teabagging:
This
is not what it sounds like--teens have a habit of giving activities
vulgar nicknames. Teens suck on teabags in order to enjoy an extreme
herbal, sometimes caffeinated "rush" when hot water is not available.
Danger: Choking hazard.
Belts:
Teen girls like to "belt" their baggy tops, but what is to prevent them from doing it too tightly?
Danger: Broken ribs, organ failure.
Souping:
Teens
don't believe in a middle ground, hence they've taken the good feeling
most normal people get from a good bowl of Campbell's Chunky Soup and
ingest it in extreme doses, which fills them up wrong.
Danger: Sodium overdose; urge to play football, which is also dangerous.
Fires:
Teens
gather twigs from the forest, assemble them in either a "teepee" or
"house" form, stuff them with newspaper, apply a match and a bit of
oxygen and then, as simple as that, they've got a fire.
Danger: There is no way of knowing whether the marshmallows they roast over the fire are gluten-free.
Exercise:
The
hot new trend these days are endorphins. Teens exercise until they
develop a "natural high," known by its street name "second wind."
Danger: Unacceptably high self esteem, shin splints.