Before we get to that: Chicagoans, I hope you're coming to Funny Ha-Ha! Now on with the list:
Buy things
Exercise
Don't-exercise by wearing footwear that exercise for you
You don't need any makeup: just a smile
Buy Maybelline Expertwear Eyeshadow
Don't you dare make yourself vulnerable to the sun
Don't you dare presume to go out in public without a fake tan
Ride a bike
Buy a car
Make your meals
Buy these snacks
Don't be hungry
Lose ten pounds
Save money
Subscribe to this magazine
Get out in the fresh air
Check out these apps for tracking your diet