Make Us Say Thanks, John Danks!

Oh My Goyd, It's Gavin Floyd!

Bobby (Jenks) Ain't Slobby!

Scott Linebrink Never Line-stinks!

Jake Peavey Makes My Chest Heav-ey!

Tony Pena es Muy Buena!

JJ (Putz) Is OK-K!

There's Nothing (Sergio) Santos Cantos Do!

Matt (Thornton) Doesn't Bat But If He Did He Would Be Great!

Randy (Williams) Is Eye Candy!

I Love (Donny) Lucy!

AJ (Pierzynski) is All the Rage-ay!

(Gordon) Beckham is As Good As Heck-am!

Maul That Ball, Paul (Konerko)!

(Mark) Kotsay is Hotsay!

(Jayson) Nix Lix the Competition!

(Alexei) Ramirez, Hit a Grand Slamirez!

(Mark) Teahen Makes Me Go OMG-hen!

Gomar, Omar (Vizquel)!

Go U Andruw (Jones)!

Juan (Pierre) Sort of Sounds Like the Word "Won" Which Is What We're Going to Say We Did When This Game Is Over!!!!!!

(Carlos) Quentin Can Put a Dent in the Ball!

(Alex) Rios is Full of Brio!