I wrote about Idol last night.

Also, the other day my Dad sent me this article, "How to Deal with a Difficult Daughter-in-Law". As a difficult daughter-in-law myself, I found it quite amusing. For instance:

Respect your child's choice. Your son loves this woman, no matter that you can't understand what he sees in her. Remember the old song, "When a man loves a woman...If she is bad, he can't see it, She can do no wrong, Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down." This is absolute truth - so in dealing with her, no matter what your true feelings are, you must never say a word against her to your son.

That's damn straight. I in fact encouraged my husband to turn his back on his best friend even before he had the chance to say a word about me, positive or negative. And you can't understand what my husband sees in me, because what we have is special and you're just jealous.

Stay cordial at all times. She may be a clueless, crude boor. She may be vulgar and crass. She may swear like a sailor while your family is a church-going, proper group. She may actually be unkind, cruel, or a manipulative, controlling narcissist, not caring about imposing on others as long as she gets whatever she wants.

Shut the shit up, WikiHow. You don't know me. You wish you did, because I'm the bomb, but you don't, so go to hell, asshole. Now go get me whatever it is I want. A coffee, to be precise.

Remember that she may be the mother of your grandchildren. She will control access to any offspring of your son's that result from the marriage.

Yeah. Remember that. Remember it good.

Talk to your son.

You can't, unless I give him the phone (and I won't.)