I wrote covered things last night: American Idol and America's Next Top Model.

As you may know Tyra Banks is asking women 5'7 and under to try out for the next season of "Top Model." I think this is a horrible idea. First, not like the show has really been about fashion and modeling for a while, it pretty much indicates Tyra's throwing in the towel this season in terms of trying to make the show fashion-relevant. Kate Moss is the exception, not the rule, to model height.

But moreover I think it goes against the laws of nature to put it into short girls' heads that they can be top models. That's what separates us from the animals: short girl can be pretty but not runway models, and tall girls have that working for them. If you get all these short girls running around thinking they're going to be models, it'll be mayhem in the streets. Oh wait, it already was.

The nice thing about the height requirement for modeling is that it lets shorter people breathe easier, knowing that genetically it just wasn't meant to be and they can quit trying to look as perfect as a model does. But telling any short chick that she can be a model means that she thinks she can, and should.

Fortunately for me, I don't have to worry about it since I'm a few years older than the maximum age allowed for ANTM tryouts. Because if it wasn't for that, I know I would win the competition. I'm not here to make friends and I know I'm better than all of you. I mean, that's what I would say. If I were in the competition. But I'm not. Just because I'm too old, not because of anything else.