True or not, many news outlets are reporting that Hillary Clinton's emotional moment on the trail earlier this week resulted in her win in the New Hampshire primaries. And we all know what this is going to entail:

January 11: Dennis Kucinich somehow musters up a bloody nose during a stump speech in Nevada, which does not result in additional votes but does bring a surge of concerned mothers to the stage carrying hankerchiefs, arguing whether he should tilt his head forward or back.

January 12: Meeting supporters in California, one of Mitt Romney's perfect teeth falls out unexpectedly. Voters agree that he makes a good point about health care, and he gains support.

January 14: Rudy Giuliani, attempting to inject a bit of humor into his campaign, erupts into a fit of girlish giggles in the middle of a meet-and-greet in Illinois, which ends up in a 10 point poll decline.

January 15: Attempting to one-up Hillary's choking-up, John Edwards chokes on a bagel during a breakfast rally. His wife gives him the Heimlich maneuver, and then raises up both their hands and shouts "We're both still alive!" He leaps ahead in the polls.

January 15, later that day: Not to be outdone, Hillary erupts into racking, choking sobs, complete with runny nose, during a brief appearance at an Indiana coffee shop. The nation awkwardly looks away and pretends it didn't notice.