Do you guys know where you can sell a sex tape?
I don't mean like a porno, I mean like I made a sex tape and I'm trying to sell it so I can make a quick buck but nobody is buying it.
I guess it doesn't help that the guy I'm having sex with isn't somebody famous, rich or even that good looking. But you'd think there would at least be like some curiosity value in me having sex with a hobo I found on the street.
And I guess it doesn't help that I couldn't afford an infra red camera and that the only thing you can really see is my VCR flashing 12:00 (I never got around to setting the time, or for that matter, moving up technologically from a VCR.) But at least with the lights off you can't see the hump on my back or the fact that the hobo is kind of short. I mean height-wise.
I suppose I was confused about what people tend to find sexy these days. Doing it to the tunes of Moody Bible radio isn't hot anymore? Sobbing the entire time isn't a turn-on? How about the time I take to say "good night" and "I'm sorry" to each of my stuffed animals before I turn them around so they're not facing me before everything begins? I thought that was the kind of kinky foreplay that everyone is into these days.
I originally was asking $100 a download for this, but nobody seems to be biting. Now all I really want is to recoup the money from the videotape I bought ($3.50) and the bottle of Thunderbird I got to entice my romp partner ($3.50).
I'll even throw in some bonus material, like footage of a baby porcupine eating a banana. It might not be sexy but it'll ensure that there's something for everyone in this film.
I need to start thinking more carefully about how I decide to earn my money, I think.