What Else are Infants Like?

Today is the day to find an occpuation that matches your last name.

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I don't know what the commotion is: Angelina Jolie said that her infant daughter is basically a blob. We all know that babies are even more useless than blobs: comparing them to blobs is an offense to blobs. But while some people worry about poor little Shiloh growing up to face the ignominy of having your mother compare you to an object with no skeleton (or exoskeleton), we can all finally breathe a sigh of relief as we all agree that newborn babies are pretty much useless. Finally, no more holding that in! Which brings us to: