Today is the day to make coffee with your Perrier.

I have a warning for the citizens of New York.

A few years ago, my friend Liz worked for a law firm and while she was there, took a test and became a notary public. There was no shutting her up after that. She'd go into restaurants and demand special seating: "I'm a notary public!" When somebody was having a medical emergency on the street or subway she'd say "Stand aside! I'm a notary public!" And forget about dating. She was suddenly too good for any old man--she was a notary public.

I think after a while though the novelty of her newfound status wore off. You remember that article several years ago in the Sunday Styles section of the Times by Jennifer 8. Lee about how being a Notary Public was the hottest new thing? Well forget it. After that every Bridge & Tunnel wannabe and even some of the dowdy Midwesterners were taking the Notary Public test. It had lost its cachet. The whole thing was played out exactly two weeks after the article ran.

Well, Liz just found out that her status as a Notary Public expires in February. Nobody likes losing their status, even if it's something they haven't appreciated or enjoyed in a while. So now she's on a complete Notarizing binge. I advise you to please watch out--do not leave any documents out where she can get to them. And you couples out there who are planning to avoid getting married until gays are able to--I would not carry around that un-notarized marriage license because the next thing you know--STAMP--you're married, and your marriage strike was all for naught.

Be careful, New Yorkers. Hell hath no fury like a soon-to-expire Notary Public.