Today is the day to feed the machine.

Two event reminders. This Sunday I will be reading at Myopic Books with Michelle Orange, who is touring to promote her book The Sicily Pages. The book contains her letters home from Italy. So I figured I'd directly copy her and read some of the emails that I sent him when I was in Italy. Also, as a reminder, Funny Ha-Ha is December 5! More details here.

 

Okay, Lindsay and Paris, I have a message for you:

I know that these are just your Halloween whore costumes, but you're on notice. While you're not exactly in if-you-got-raped-everybody-is-going-to-think-you-were-asking-for-it territory, you're in a neighboring state.

In the meantime, the next time you beg the public for their respect, you're really going to have to do something amazing. And this does not include: going to the hospital for exhausting, adopting a baby, talking about adopting a baby, or giving the keys to your Mercedes to a homeless man just as the paparazzi happen to be nearby.

I'm sorry to be so tough on you but I just thought you should be aware.

PS: Lindsay, if you don't stop wearing those half-gloves, I am going to slap you in the face. Not that you'd feel it.