Today is the day to splurge on a new cereal.

Chicagoans--don't forget that I will be at the Dollar Store on Friday.

Yesterday I picked up a copy of Conscious Choice magazine, which I tend to find quite entertaining and informative. I was interested to see an ad for something called a Visa "enlightenment card", which is a credit card for crazy vegetarians. Here are some of the perks of signing up for the Enlightenment Card:

Reward Program: Earn 1 Enlightenment Point for every $1 of purchases which can be used to redeem a wide variety of merchandise and services including colon hydrotherapy with wheat grass, complimentary spiritual circle time and angel buttons.

No expiration on points: The enlightenment points that you earn do not expire and carry over into your next life.

24-Hour Customer Service: Guaranteed authentic Tibetan or Indian wise person to help you with all your needs.

Complimentary energy healing for pets.

Annual Fee: What is time? (Fee is $50 for every lunar cycle)

Variable Rate Information: Your APR for Purchases may vary based on your rising sign

Guaranteed Smugness Factor: When you take out your Visa Enlightenment Card featuring your choice of art of an Ohm signal, praying hands, the Sun or a light-hand-montage-thing, you will feel 20% better about yourself as you buy your toilet paper than a consumer with any other novelty credit card.