Today is the day to pretend like you care.

My friend Mark Bazer wrote a review of a show I'd never heard of until yesterday, despite my legendary crush on Martin Mull. If you're a Mull-head like me, you might be interested.

My advice columnist/Mom Mrs. Zulkey.com emerges today thanks to a question I got for her a few days ago. She will always be here for you, the way only a mother can. Have a question for her? Send it to me and I will forward.

Mrs. Zulkey.com Comes Back for a Question

Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com:

How do you convince a husband that re-decorating is in order ?

Dear Deco,

If your spouse doesn't recognize on his own that it's time to re-decorate it's useless to try to convince him with aesthetic arguments. Telling him you're living with a tired color palette will not be helpful. You need to address the issue in terms of simple maintenance, a word to which he can relate. Re-decorating, then, is like replacing the tires on the car or putting a new stain on the deck. It's just something that has to be done and is not based on some fanciful whim of yours. You'll have to have evidence, so show him what sun bleaching has done to the linings of your curtains. Point out the worn traffic pattern in the carpet. Lead him to every frayed edge, stain, splotch, crack and fleck. Disgust him with the condition of the place. In short order he will appreciate having a wife who knows he deserves better than that.

I'm convinced that most men are reluctant to agree to re-decorating because they fear disruption. More than the cost of the thing or resistance to change, they dread the tearing asunder. You can assuage his uneasiness here. Tell him you've found extremely reliable workmen to handle the job and that they will be gone by the time he returns from the office each evening. Tell him approximately how long the project will take. Reassure him that his office/desk will not be touched and that throughout the project there will always be a spot cleared away for you to share a nice dinner and a glass of wine. Not to worry, you'll handle everything.

Now, if you've been married long enough to have to re-decorate I needn't tell you this, but for you newlyweds out there, I'll mention it. Your husband probably won't be interested in your choice of sheers or tassels, but his ears will perk up at the idea of a comfy, nap-friendly easy chair for him next to the fireplace. (Do not use the word fauteuil but hint at something La-Z-Boy-esque.) His enthusiasm will soar over your plans for a niche for the new sporty flat screen TV in the den. (No need to go into details about the hand-carved custom-made cabinet you have in mind for it.)

In other words, speak his language, appeal to his self-interest, and he'll be on the bandwagon in no time.

Mrs. Zulkey