Today is the day to eat a flavoried bagel

I was housesitting last week for my parents, and I noticed that they have started to receive old people catalogues. I'm not sure how they got on that list: maybe it's through AARP, or maybe somebody ordered a back pillow. But I was fascinated, looking at the catalogues. I haven't really been around the elderly since my last grandparent died when I was about 10, but I felt that I got a good education from the catalogues about what 21st century old people are like. Here is what I learned from the products listed in the catalogue:

Old people have tired feet and legs.

Old people have trouble sleeping.

Old people have problems with their hands.

Old people need to relax.

Old people have trouble hearing.

Old people can't see.

Old people don't like bending down.

Old people use canes (and sometimes drop them).

Old people have problems with zipping things, openings things and turning things.

Old people sometimes need adult-sized bibs.

Old people are too unattractive to model old people's underwear for old people catalogues.

Old people like to take care of their feet.