Today is the day to announce a false temperature.

Book By Its Cover Review: Using Puppies as Mules

According to the Smoking Gun, cops in New York intercepted some Columbian drug mules: "puppies who were implanted with packets of liquid heroin. According to the DEA, the six cute and furry couriers--all pure-bred--had the heroin packets surgically placed inside them."

This is sort of like Conan O'Brien's Evil Puppy, and while these drug puppies aren't necessarily out to cause harm to the world the way O'Brien's does, these are not mere characters. Like the Evil Puppy, I have mixed feelings for these puppies. On the one hand, they are adorable. On the other hand, they're full of heroin. And instead of the heroin making the puppies un-cute, the puppies make the drug muling sort of cute. Cuteness conquers all.

This is how puppies can be used by dark forces. It takes something pretty strong to make illegal drug smuggling seem not so bad.

I guess if the puppies were smuggling something other than heroin, like maybe candy or ducklings, it would be more acceptable. Although really, surgically stitching anything into a puppy, even if it's the cutest wootest widdle thing ever, is still animal abuse.

Some of the puppies did not make the trip, after all, and that's unacceptable.

Of course there is an adorable ending for some of the puppies: "Colombian police said they adopted three dogs, one of which was being trained to sniff for drugs."

So, I admit, I have more mixed feelings than I should, but still I decree, using puppies for smuggling is bad.