Today is the day to back off, boogaloo.

Sad news, everyone: my friend Paris Hilton has traded in her beloved Chihuahua Tinkerbell for a smaller version named Bambi, who allegedly will fit better in her designer dog carrier.  But what will she do when Bambi gets too big as well (or a cuter, smaller tote comes out)? A look into the future:

The Pets of Paris Hilton

2003: Tinkerbell the Chihuahua

2005: Bambi, the smaller Chihuahua

2007: Mitzi the bunny

2010: Cupcake, the genetically dwarfed Chihuahua

2011: Pippi the guinea pig

2012: Taffy the rat

2014: Fluffy the fetal mouse

2015: Miss Thang, the tiny tree frog

2016: Coco the cricket

2017: Adam Ant

2018: Molly, the hot-pink molecule