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The column Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com returns yet again, and if you hate seeing reminders to send in questions as much as I hate writing them, check out some of her archives and just send in a question if you have one, already. Jeez.

Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com Has a Tip for You

This has been an ongoing discussion among the women in my house - what are appropriate tips - specifically for manicures, pedicures, haircuts, waxing, etc? Are tips in these circumstances for exceptional service or are they required?

Once, I was in Barrington getting a manicure and pedicure with a friend. The nail place did not accept credit cards and between the two of us we had enough cash to cover the bill and a minimal tip - about $5 for each manicurist. It is not our fault that they did not accept credit cards and the service was not so spectacular that we were going to find an ATM and come back. It was not like we were ditching the bill. So, we paid and left. We had barely started the car when one of the manicurist ran out to our car asking if we forgot to leave a tip. I thought that it was ridiculous, but that's just me. Anyway, Mrs.Zulkey.com please let me know what is appropriate. Thank you in advance.

My Dear Young Friend,

How did I know you were young? Because a more experienced woman would have felt comfortable being straightforward and she would have explained to salon management that she was unaware of the cash-only policy and was therefore unprepared to leave a more generous tip. This would have been accompanied by one of those wry, apologetic smiles that expresses regret. These thing happen sometimes and being up-front with them would have saved you that nasty incident in the parking lot. It might also have encouraged the shop, in the future, to accommodate credit cards. (If you really wanted to do somethinbg more, you could have asked for your manicurist's full name with a promise to send her a check, care of the salon. She'd be thrilled, and probably stunned, to get it.)

Now, about tipping in general. Salon personnel expect to be tipped. When in doubt about how much, just ask! You wouldn't be the first to check with the front desk about what's considered a reasonable tip for a certain service. But, bear this in mind: if a waiter who simply plunks down a club sandwich and an iced tea in front of you expects to get 15-20%, what of the person who is performing a much more intimate service? I confess that the more menial the job, the more generously I tip. Fair warning, though. Don't start dwelling on what life circumstances might have compelled someone to resort to such a career or, next thing you know, you'll be signing over your inheritance.

On the flip side, what to do when you are completely dissatisfied? I'm not in the camp of those who believe a tip of a certain size should be automatic. I know of a couple who, when very young, once went out to a very chi-chi dinner at an exclusive restaurant to celebrate some happy occasion. There they experienced the most egregiously horrible service. Their waiter ignored them for very long periods of time, forgot to bring them parts of their dinner, got other parts wrong, spilled things, presented them with their check while they were stilll eating and then stood over them, jingling the coins in his pocket, until they paid. After much discussion between themselves they came up with a plan. Despite the hefty bill they left the gentleman a nickel, and a very long but beautifully crafted note. They never regretted their decision, but had they been older, they'd have known it would have been preferable to discuss their experience with the maitre d'.

I hope I have been of some help to you. I've left a jar on the countertop for your expression of gratitude.