Today is the day to make small plans.

Q&A With a Kid Who Allegedly Lost Weight and Had an Outrageous Summer

Q: How old are you?

A: Twelve. Or maybe eighteen. Sixteen? Ten? I'm not sure.

Q: So how much weight did you lose?

A: I lost 25 pounds and had the most outrageous summer!

Q: OK, that was a trick question, just to corroborate information. So how did you lose the weight?

A: You'll have to call for a FREE brochure to find out.

Q: All right. So is it true that you were on MTV?

A: Yes.

Q: How so?

A: You'll have to get the brochure to find that out too!

Q: Well can you tell me how your summer was outrageous, at least?

A: Well, most of the information is the brochure but I will hint that it involved friendship and lots of healthy exercise.

Q: OK. So let me ask you a question: How did your parents decide to send you to a weight loss camp to lose 25 pounds as opposed to having you do it at home?

A: I don't answer questions about my parents. I don't talk to them anymore. And you know what I realized? They're the ones with an eating problem. They're the fat ones.

Q: I understand. Now something has been making me curious for a long time...

A: Yes?

Q: How do people know that you actually lost 25 pounds (and had an outrageous summer), instead of just hiring you, a thinnish person, to stand there holding an oversized pair of shorts, claiming that you had an outrageous summer?

A: Let me ask you something.

Q: Yes?

A: Do you believe in Jesus?

Q: Um....

A: Because if you believe in Jesus, then you'll just have to trust that I did what I say I did in my advertisement.

Q: I don't understand your logic, but I have to leave now so I guess that is the end of our discussion.

A: Outrageous!