Today is the day to leave work early.

Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com on Etiquette and Golf (But Not Golf Etiquette)

Mrs. Zulkey.com,

Given that most people claim they are "not good with names," I think we could all benefit from your expertise in this realm. We have all had these semi-uncomfortable moments when you are with someone you know (and know their name) and you bump into someone you half-know (and don't know their names). Just last week this happened to me and we were all talking, all the while I was wondering how to introduce my named friend to my mystery named friend. Do you pull the half introduction? E.g. "[obvious omission of name here], this is my friend, Claire." Is that better than just not introducing at all? Or do you openly admit you don't really know their name? I usually go with the half introduction, but this last time I let it go and eventually the un-named person introduced herself, which sort of made me feel badly. How best to approach this situation as it is likely to happen over and over again?

Also, how on earth did you break 90 in your golf game? Can I be you??

Yours truly,
The Introduction Inquirer

My Dear Child,

I wouldn't lose any sleep over this one. This is a common sin that is automatically forgivable. The forgotten name syndrome is so universal it actually has names, the brain burp, the senior moment, etc. You'll sense, of course, that I'm going easy on you because I'm a sinner myself. Truth be told, I've discovered that I'm usually not even listening when I'm introduced to someone. I'd like to think it's not the name, but the person in whom I'm interested, but that's probably just a form of self-absolution. In all my life I've only known one person who's good at remembering not only every person's name, but their spouses', children's and grandchildren's names, as well as birthdays, alma maters, moles and allergies. Everyone admires her skill but no one even tries to duplicate it. I never leave her side at parties, but I do suspect there's sorcery involved.

But your question is how to handle it. You should know that everyone recognizes the half-intro for what it is, so you can give that up. The issue seems to be that we believe our deficiency will result in an unintended blow to the ego. This can be remedied. Step 1: You admit, shamefacedly and right up front, that you've forgotten Claire's name. Step 2: You pump up her self-esteem by saying something like: I remember you from Steve's party where you were wearing those Manolo's I envied so much. Or, I remember you were the one with the gorgeous date. Or, I remember you were the funniest person I ever met, but can you believe it? I can't think of your name, for goodness sakes. I think you get my drift, yes? If she remembers your name, so much the better. She's feeling superior. This whole thing will only get worse as you get older, but by then everyone you meet will be more tolerant of your diminished capacities.

Regarding breaking 90: It helped tremendously that I was playing with a woman with whom I had such an interesting conversation, about India and Hinduism, our intolerant mothers and our precocious daughters, that I wasn't even paying attention to the game. I wish I could remember her name. (But regardless of what they tell you on the driving range, it's the short game, Toots.)

Mrs. Zulkey.com (aka my mom) can help you with anything. You might want to ask her how to throw a fancy dinner party for eight, how to handle a geriatric dog or how to get the most meat off a rib. Or just about whatever. Send her an email.